Majic

Dear pip,

TL;DR For technical part of series, skip over to parts 2 and 3.

You and me have gone over a lot of things over the years. I can still rememeber back when I first met you. There was a package I needed to have delivered, yet it was not possible for my regular courier service to get it delivered in time. Despairing, I searched and searched, and finally somebody pointed me in your direction.

I was skeptical at first, but that package was important, and in the end I gave you a call. Five minutes later, you were in front of my door with requested package in your hands. I was so happy! Finally I found a fast and reliable courier for all my deliveries! Over time, we even became good friends.

But, as time goes by, relationships change and transform. I could work with you easily, but I just found it a bit too pushy that you would walk all over my place during delivery, opening and looking into every nook and cranny of my house, with no restrictions whatsoever... I would find packages delivered all over the place, in my kitchen, restroom, even in my bed!

So we had a chat about this, and both agreed that from now on you will deliver the packages to a designated part of the house. You did not object much to this, and I was glad that you were prepared to make a change for me. There are many out there that are stubbornly set in their ways...

This new arrangement worked out great between us for a while, until I started finding myself confused with all the packages delivered and crammed into one room. It became hard to keep track of all of them, and sometimes the heavy packages would tip over and crush the smaller ones.

I was sad, fearing that our friendship was coming to an end. Then, one day, out of the blue, you introduced me to a friend of yours at a party, virtualenv, and said "She will solve all your storage and sorting problems."

You will understand that I have been skeptical at first. However, very quickly virtualenv has managed to wash aside all of my doubts. She came to my house, and separted packages in different rooms based on what they are used for. Suddenly I was not worried that that one precious package will get ruined.

Before I could even blink, I added virtualenv to my phone contacts under entry virtualenvwrapper. Anytime I needed to get a new package delivery sorted-out, both of you were just a couple of taps away.

However, after all these years, in spite of all these improvements in my life thanks to you guys, something is still missing.

As you know, I'm a tidy guy. I like my packages sorted and neat, and I like throwing out the ones I don't want, or the ones that are not needed anymore. But every time I have to do this, I need to prepare a temporary room for your friend virtualenv, and call you in to sort my packages out in it. And once that's done, old room needs to be emptied completely, packages from the temporary room need to be moved back in, and temporary room has to be removed. As you can imagine, this is a big hassle for me.

Another thing that's started to bother me is that sometimes I get these packages from complete strangers, people whom I don't know at all. And I don't know what is it that they send to me before I open the package. Could be just paranoia speaking out of me, but it could be anything... Could be a fork bomb, or maybe even something worse! And what if I forget to close the doors to package room, and one of those fork bombs goes off? I would have forks all over the place, wouldn't dare to sit anywhere...

I've even heard some people get packages they never asked for, just because they made a typo when they were texting you to get them delivered.

With all of that being said, I still find you a good friend, and I would hate to see you go. Hopefully we will be able to work together to sort-out some of the remaining issues in our friendship.

Kind regards,

Branko